It’s Friday night. You’re feeling pretty and you want to share that with the rest of the immediate population. So next thing you know you and you good friends are heading down to a new local hot spot for some innocent girl fun. Just letting your hair down. So you are there… the dj is spinning some banging tunes. Ya’ll have a couple of drinks…you are all having a great time…laughing… flirting… dancing... could this be any better?? Next thing you know a mighty morphin super hottie walks in…oh shit… could this be love at first sight? Soulmate is that you?? Your eyes lock… he thinks you are as cute as you think he is. You spend the next half hour exchanging flirty glances… the bartender comes over and informs you that the object of your affection has just sent you a drink. You’re thinking… dang this dude is fly and classy… JACKPOT! The two of you continue a love affair of glances for the next minutes… he finally comes over and strikes up a conversation. You exchange names… and other idle mindless chit chat. You’re totally thinking you won the lottery tonight… imagine that. But then.. uh oh the conversation gets a little deeper. Oh snap… he’s the king of elite douchebag jedis… and the force is strong with this one… oh shit. So now your thinking holy shit… my dog has more intellect than this fucker. How the hell are you going to excuse yourself… you love affair has come to an abrupt stop. In your mind you are filing for a restraining order. At this point… you are even contemplating changing your sexual orientation for the night. You can’t get past the deafening sound of your inner voice screaming ABORT ABORT at the top of its lungs!

 

The moral of the story to all my bar hopping friend seeking love… you are not going to find your soul mate at the bar dumb dumb… so stop looking there. Least of all… they are not going to be at the local bar… so unless you want this scenario to be a repeat performance… seriously… looking for something at the bar… to say the least you’ll probably just walk away with an STD or something (eww… and you don’t want to be that skank with Euro Herpie do ya??)

 

The Bean has spoken… go back to your meaningless day of same shit different day.

 

-Belly Dancing Bean